Tag Archives: Me

21.

Hopefully I won’t regret writing this in the morning. 

I’ve realised I will always feel lonely.

Even during times when I’m surrounded by all my closest friends, I know I am going to feel that aching sensation of there being too much air around me. Something always feels missing to me. It’s no one’s fault, really. It’s just a feeling I am probably going to have all my life. Trying to explain it to myself has often left me frustrated so I’ve decided to stop and try to live with it instead.

I turn 21 today and I can only hope that the years ahead will be kind as they can be. I’m not sure why I’m talking about this, this feeling, when I’m turning an age where there should be greater and far more important worries on my mind but there’s a strangeness in me that keeps me up at night and urges these incredibly ineffectual fingers to write down these thoughts I carry whilst slowly glancing across to a film I have now probably seen close to a hundred times.

It’s not all bad though. Sometimes, I do welcome this feeling of alonenesss like now where the words come swift and clear, to myself at the very least.

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Breaths We Breathe

Happy Valentine’s Day to all! Sending my love to all of you out there, with every breath I take. 🙂

Love is realising that we

Are constantly breathing each other’s breaths.

Knowing, that each breath you take

Has something of someone else

A sigh, a laugh, a cry, an exasperation.

Love is knowing that each breath you take

Has been taken before

And it’s not just the oxygen from the trees

Or the giving nature of their leaves

That is keeping us alive.

It is the breath of you,

The breath of me

And the breath of all of humanity,

That keeps all of us warm

On the coldest of days.

Think of what else our breath has given,

The words we speak

The prayers we ask,

The portraits on windows

As it fogs up the glass.

I am almost convinced that our lungs love

Even more than our hearts.

For how would our hearts even beat,

If it wasn’t for the breaths we breathe?

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Stay

It has been so long since I last wrote but the words seem to be coming back 🙂 

This writer of words is lonely and lost,

Surrounded by chances that have come and gone.

And here he waits longing for you,

When all he sees are the memories long past.

In his own words though he glimpses her

A dazzling light of soul

While the brokenness inside him

Fashions his own version of hell.

In the day he comes to see her

And her hair in the wind

Is the day that he can say,

“My heaven has come”

And he wishes it would stay. 

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Pieces

These pieces are the spaces I have saved

For the memories of you,

The memories of me,

A rain of ideas and feelings.

In every memory of every line

And every piece of my fragile mind

I seem to find you.

Just to make sure you’ll stay with me,

I hold onto you like a little child

By cradling you within these words.

But almost always it’s the memories of you

That steadies my hand and helps me

Write what has been written.

 

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Define Me

I’ve found that filling this space with my words has brought me closer to the answer and for that I am grateful.

Writing helps to find yourself. 

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We Should Hug

Take me in your arms.

Take me and let me choke out my fears and spill all my secrets.

Take me in your arms and listen.

Listen as I weep what I have wept before when I was alone.

I want you to listen and tell me that it is going to be better.

Hold me and shield my cracks, wounds that will never heal, do not let them fester.

Take me in your arms, now.

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Walk with Me

I wrote this a while back when the word “Rescue” was on my mind. I really love this one. 

I had sat down for far too long and by doing so I let the roots grow over me.

Stuck in this cruel embrace, I watched as life passed me by.

And maybe if I had kept moving, I would have found you sooner.

But some things you can’t change and that was why I waited.

And when you did finally arrive, you looked at me with your quizzical smile.

I stared back and said, “Will you untangle me? “

And then you came closer and whispered in my ear, “I will but you must promise, you keep walking by my side forever”

So I did promise and watched as she hacked away the roots holding me down and pulled me out, her sweat glistening in the evening sun.

“And now”, she said smiling, “You promised to walk with me?”

And we did.

We walked and I caught up on the life that had passed me by while I had waited in my prison of roots and she captured all the moments I missed and lived them with me.

And when the day came that her legs gave way, I stopped and took her hand.

“Hold on to me”, I said.

“You can’t hold me up forever?”

She smiled as she said it but I heard the sadness creeping through.

“But I promised you forever, didn’t I? You saved me, now let me save you.”

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Highest of Highs (B&W)

You must surely know that I think of you
as one of the most important things in my life.

The stage at which we met was not the grandest, the circumstances not the boldest but even still, when I think upon the actual meeting there is something that is more than anyone else would think.

It’s something that makes me realise how lucky I am and how kind the stars have been.

 If it is indeed the stars that choose our fate then I thank  them for making our footsteps run into each other.

Do you remember the climb to the highest of highs?

 How the steady silence between us hid what we are today?

Sometimes silence is important, maybe it gives us a chance to look at each other and just take in the depth of our souls in the universe, maybe there’s something in you and me that foresaw the magic that would come, the words to be said and letters to given.

 Maybe the silent stares are just like the black and white photographs, a revelation of the soul and maybe it was then that I realised, when we were up there on the highest of highs, that your soul was a good one, a kind one and one that would listen.  I saw this as I held the picture of your soul in my mind, up there on the highest of highs.

Black and White.

Did you realise it too? 

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Fall Into Me

This is a very very special one. It’s not going to be like the others because the words I am going to talk about are not written by me but by Danny McGaw, an English singer/songwriter. I’ve had many stories that I hold close to me heart and this one is another addition to that collection of stories.
The first time I discovered Danny McGaw I was in Dubai and I had no idea who he was. I was watching a movie, it was “New Your Waiting” and maybe it was this song that was playing at the beginning of it that made me watch it in the first place. It turned out to be one of the most beautiful movies ever… But that is another story.

I just want to talk about this song, how he just molded this piece of wonderful words that I just fell in love with. I searched everywhere, every inch of the internet I could go to, looking for this song. I sent a message to Danny’s Facebook page hoping for a reply but I didn’t and I lost hope in ever listening to the entire song.

But today… I just happened to click on the “Other” messages tab on my Facebook and saw this message.Seems like I had gotten a reply ages ago and failed to see it! I wake some days and feel like the luckiest person on Earth. Today was one of those days…

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The reason I love this song is the words, I feel this deep sort of of connection with them. They are very familiar… Maybe they remind me of my writing. They do actually. And I want people to listen to this song and fall in love with it the way I did. Hanging onto the words and just fall in. Follow the words and fall in love with them. Here…

Where can I run to?

Where can I hide?

How do I escape these feeling inside me?

Reveal yourself to me

Want you by my side

Want to know you

Wanna make you smile,

Oh, show me how to love you.

Fall, fall into me.

Tell me that, you will always be here.

Cause I’m falling.

Falling into you.

 There’s nothing I can do.

Who am I?

What am I doing here?

Where am I coming from? I feel so far away from you

Sometimes I feel so sure,

 Others I’m lost and insecure.

Just trying to find my way.

Fall, fall into me.

Tell me that, you will always be here.

Cause I’m falling.

Falling into you.

There’s nothing I can do.

On my way,

I’m just searching for peace in my own heart.

Come with me.

Come and fall with me.

 Come and fall, fall into me.

Tell me that, you will always be here.

Cause I’m falling.

Falling into you.

There’s nothing I can do.

Fall, fall into me.

Tell me that, you will always be here.

Cause I’m falling.

Falling into you. There’s nothing I can do.

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Definition

Sometimes I look at people and think of how they are the reason I do what I do and this is what I do.

Some days you ask me if

 I ever tire of looking at your face,

 I will always answer with a smile.

The reason is the same as how a botanist never tires

Of looking at his flowers

Or a painter his paintings.

They are looking at what defines them.

You define me. 

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