Tag Archives: Personal

Fantasy

You smell of fantasy,

like a book so old

that the dust on its surface

pollinates my skin.

And as I let myself

breathe all of you in,

I think of all the words you’ve uttered,

Every umm, snicker,

And lost train of thought.

My mind wanders the rails

They came off

and as I place my ear against

the cold bare metal,

I swear I hear the echoes.

I can’t help

but have such thoughts

blossom in my mind,

For whenever you are near

I am always so restless.

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A Vision of You (II)

As I collapse

Into yet another dream

Of you,

my eyes can barely

Keep themselves closed,

I only know this once I am awoken

For in the dream,

Nothing distracts me but you

I am unaware of anything but you

And I cannot lie but say

That even after awaking

And cursing my eyes for their failure

It is you that still occupies my thoughts.

I reason with myself

That my eyes only open

In fear that I might follow you

In my dreams forever

And never awaken again.

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I.D. ~ For feelings.js

I feel like an identity,
A strange but concrete entity.
One that can dream dreams
And nightmares as well.
But the kind that loses itself,
When so close to being found.
But let it be known
As all my inhibitions unfold,
That this too is just a mask,
And this feeling of singularity
Well, it’s just not meant to last.
And just as the many sunsets go,
My mind too will sink once more.

This little poem is quite special in that it was inspired by the words generated by the bot @feelings.js created by wonderfully creative  @katierosepipkin. I’ve only recently been delving into the world of twitter bots and found out just how poetic they can be. ^_^

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Torn Edges

As pieces of me

Lie shredded

against the banks

of the past,

I look at myself

In a reflection

And wonder how much

Of the old me is left.

How much am I leaving behind,

What’s going to patch up

these torn edges?

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A Vision of You (I)

There you are again,

As I find myself back pedaling

Whilst you are turned aside.

We are heading

In separate directions,

Away from the end of something special

Well, maybe just for me.

But this is not the end,

I say it in my head

And politely ask it of you

In my imaginary voice.

You must be someone

Who’s come from above,

For as I thought this prayer

I swear you could hear it.

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Soft

They say I’m too soft,

That there aren’t enough rough edges

On this shape of mine.

I hear them

Say all of this,

And it feels like

The hammer and the mallet

Are only moments

Away from striking me

Into things people wish to see.

My biggest fear

Is losing all the poetry

This softness carries.

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Stars on Skin

Processed with VSCOcam with a6 preset

Maybe that’s what I need,

The stars on my skin,

Somehow I need to find

Someway to get the stars to fall

Across this skin of mine

And mirror the patterns they cast

Across the sky.

Maybe then I can look

Upon myself and hope

That there is some sort

Of fortune or future in store for me.

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21.

Hopefully I won’t regret writing this in the morning. 

I’ve realised I will always feel lonely.

Even during times when I’m surrounded by all my closest friends, I know I am going to feel that aching sensation of there being too much air around me. Something always feels missing to me. It’s no one’s fault, really. It’s just a feeling I am probably going to have all my life. Trying to explain it to myself has often left me frustrated so I’ve decided to stop and try to live with it instead.

I turn 21 today and I can only hope that the years ahead will be kind as they can be. I’m not sure why I’m talking about this, this feeling, when I’m turning an age where there should be greater and far more important worries on my mind but there’s a strangeness in me that keeps me up at night and urges these incredibly ineffectual fingers to write down these thoughts I carry whilst slowly glancing across to a film I have now probably seen close to a hundred times.

It’s not all bad though. Sometimes, I do welcome this feeling of alonenesss like now where the words come swift and clear, to myself at the very least.

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