Running through the Dark.

hello. I know it’s been sometime since my last post but life is hectic. This one was inspired by the music I’ve been listening to lately and a movie or two. Anyways…here ya go. =)

Do you remember? Remember the times we used to sing and watch the stars disappear as dawn came…calling out for you. Yes. Those were the times. The times when nothing else could pull us through. The times, when we both shared the same light, and ran through the dark together. Do you still remember? Yes. Of course you do. We both loved running away didn’t we? Running away from everything. From fear, from family…from pain and the insecurities of life that other people saw as mountains they would not dare attempt climb. But we did didn’t we? Yes. You can remember. We’d build each other’s life. Oh and how we ran…through the rain and the pain. Through the blazing heat of summer…supporting each other as winter came. But I loved running through the dark with you. Like two children playing catchers in the dark. There was no “It”. There was just you and me bumping heads from time to time. Blind but seeing more clearly than everyone else. When they found us, they took your legs away. And you fear that we can never run together again. We will never share the thrills of leaving it all behind and sharing any undisclosed desires. But fear not my dear. I’ll carry you through the dark now and I will run with you. And when I can run no more. I’ll stop and just let the dark fold over us, like a sinking ship disappearing into the water. And I’ll bring my face close to yours. It’ll be like bumping heads in the dark again. You remember? Yes. Of course you do.

Now. Let’s Go.

Ziris

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8 Comments

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8 responses to “Running through the Dark.

  1. Zulaiha

    I swear I’m not lying: this brought tears to my eyes. I had goosebumps beginning from the fourth word ending at the last word. This is your best-EST piece of writing so far and I believe that even if you write a 100 more, something might reach this but nothing can ever surpass this one. This is great!

  2. Zulaiha

    I’m commenting on this again because I read it again and I think I haven’t told you HOW good it is. It’s AWESOME, AWESOME, AWESOME. One of the best things I’ve ever read – yeah, I’m placing THIS in the same rack as HARRY POTTER (owing to the fact that you know how much I love HP)

  3. Zee, this is good. Not to sound too professional here, but I love the way you’ve cut down on the choppy, jerky sentences (albeit good ones) and focused more on clearly delivering the point. Also, the sentence length allows the reader (me) to effectively visualise the passage of time, since that was evidemtly intended. And the bits of rhyme, the also add to the rhythm. Your imagery, as usual, is crisp, and I do believe they haven’t been featured on your previous pieces. All in all, pretty amazing.

  4. Erm, Zee, sorry about that previous comment, studying for English has caused me to analyse every piece of writing I come across. It really is a very good and effective piece of writing. That aside, on a lighter note (that sounded serious btw) I bet I can guess your inspiration. Run by Snow Patrol? And Home by Goo Goo Dolls. The movies are erm, well, too broad. And I’m lazy. Keep writing!

    • LOL Actually it wasn’t Run or Home. Although i have to admit it somewhat similar to Run. But, weirdly my inspiration came from the Zombie Love Song…i know. Not a serious song at all. It was just that one lyric that caught my attention. “Ill take you through the dark” so i wanted to write something on those words. Thank You for your comment.

  5. LOL now that I know, the laughs we had over that. Epic. nom nom.

  6. C.MerC3R

    I find this much, much more direct than the other works of yours that I’ve read. Also reading it, it sounds more personal than general- as it would have been if inspired by(as noted) music and a movie. It sounds personal. Not what I would call a “bad” writing but then again, its difficult to find inspiration here.
    On the other hand it doesn’t look like you’ve conveyed emotion that well either- personally you haven’t brought out strong emotion in any of your writings, mostly because it wasn’t required but here with the lack of.. well.. the things I’ve explained above this needs something more. Something like this should “move” me, it didn’t, and if you weren’t trying- you should have. Looking at the Tags it looks like you were. The language styles and metaphors of yours seems to be “over used”. And by over used I mean over used in your OWN writing. The one paragraph structure too doesn’t help make the proper “low and high notes” you intend to make the reader hear. Several of the older shorter notes were divided up pretty well, its also WordPress’ fault- the text is all too close together and aesthetically it doesn’t fit your style of writing. Try a different font and line spacing.
    I did like reading this though, but you see- it could have been much, much better and an internet writer must stand out, out of the myriads of other writers out there- hobbyist or professional.

    I want YOU to make ME WANT to come here and read your stuff here every time I log in to my computer.
    ———————————————————–

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